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[16 Oct 2005|11:39pm]
im going to make an attempt at teaching myself to play bass.
ive learned that the top one is e the second is a 3rd is d and the bottom is g
im going to try hard.
2 die for love

[30 Sep 2005|01:33pm]
i love dd.
i love to see my friends happy.
i hate the world.
i hate seeing my friends sad.
1 die for love

[08 Sep 2005|06:28pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

john died a year ago now.
i will never forget you john,
and i miss you so much.
i hope you're doing good where you are.
love you rish


[01 Sep 2005|07:22pm]
[ mood | sick ]

the last day or two have been shit.
ive thrown up over 20 times.
fucking horrible.
i want to kill chevy's.
everyone out of the 30 people who went to tjs bday dinner there
who ate the salsa got sick for 24 hours
mine lasted long because my stomache sucks at life
and i ate a shitload of fuckin salsa
fuck you chevy's with your mass food posioning.
fuck you.

i havent smoked a cigarette in like 33 hours or something.
as soon as im sure im not sick anymore its gonna be so good.

3 die for love

[13 Aug 2005|11:59pm]
explosion is the best punk band i have ever heard.
even though they arent straight up punk.

[25 Jul 2005|09:24pm]
i kinda hate everything.
like where you get sick of life and shit.
needa start taking my medicine regularily.
i still hate everything.
i really really do.
i dissappointed one of my best friends.
i hate myself.
im in one of those self loathing period.
where i just wanna die.
you know.. you know, you know........ you know?

"incase you havent heard im sick, and tired of trying"


[11 Jul 2005|01:45am]
everytime I think about her I start crying.
when I think about things that remind me of her I cry.
I cried the most talking to her tonight.
I havent cried like that in so long.
I know this is whats right.
but its very hard
and i dont have much support.
I lost it about 2 days ago.
this is so hard for me
words cant even express it.
I'm loosing so much.
a good part of me is gone.
I really hope shes getting happier.
I hope she finds a great guy,
who'll treat her right,
who'll treat her perfect,
like she deserves.
when I think of all the memories we've shared its amazing.
we went through so much together.
we helped each other out so much.
and now look where we are.
but it has happened.
she knows I'll always love her.
forever, because i dont break promises,
and I made some promises.
I feel distant from everything.
I feel like i dont know myself.
my friends have been helping me out alot,
and you guys know who you are, I love yous,
but when they arent around or i cant talk to them,
its the loneliest feeling in the world.
I feel so horrible, so alone.
its a new deffinition of being alone.
the depression is so deep.
my anxiety is pretty crazy too,
but this depression is horrible.
I know I cant let myself go through this again,
twice is two times too many for me.
we were so great.
I love you dd.

[06 Jul 2005|09:06pm]
i'll always love you,
i guess this is goodbye.
always remember what i told you.
and dont ever settle.
find your happiness.
almost a year since
i could just see you and smile,
but i know now you're
doing what is right for you.
and i always told you,
i'd do anything to make you happy.
and i hope you're gonna be happy.
please love,
never forget out times.


3 die for love

[04 Jul 2005|03:02pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

on dubs recording mid july.
wait wait wait wait check it.
working on shit with that band is awesome.
some peeps lack dedication but workin on it.
250 for 6 songs about 8 minutes.
fuck yeah jason.
i cannot wait!
especially for shows also!
ralph and jonno record your damn songs :D



[24 Jun 2005|02:13pm]
[ mood | bored ]

so I was skating at chucks really late last night
and I did a shove it and my feet weren't high enough
and the truck smashed into my big toe.
since I was wearing my slip ons, they arent the most protective shoes.
so it hurt really bad but I kept on skating.
about 5 minutes later it started to really kick in,
so I went inside and sat with tj to check it out
I took off my shoe and saw that blood soaked through my sock
I was afraid to look at it so tj did.
it doesnt look that bad at all hardly noticable.
there's a crack underneither the top layer of nail I think not that big
but it hurts like hell and I cant really walk on the front of my foot

and it sucks.

2 die for love

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